-Life-

This year 2008, I'm already 20 years old,

look back to the days i had spent and noticed that,

i came across many things and inccidents.

It's just part one of my life,

yet,

i felt that i understand quite lots about life.

Life seem to be a long run,

You won't know where or when you stop,

neither who or what will at the last destination.

Well,

i should say, life is WH-

which we had learnt in school.

What, when, who, where, which and how,

Life is the longest fill-in-the-blank test,

which we have to fill in the blanks

since we borned until died.

God prepare millions of different papers for us.

I think i got a hard paper to fill in the blanks,

but,

it make my life attractive.

Every little things can make me happy and of course

many little things can make me sad.

When i refresh back, found that sometimes i have to learn

that not everything will smooth as i thought of.

Those hurt, yet.....

i have to throw and forget...

cause life still go on...

Forgive is not that i'm softhearted,

i just want to kind to myself.

Hatred make people live with anger.

I don't want and don't like.

So,

i decided to let the inccident faded away silently,

I believe,

i won't regret.

cause i fill in some happy and good thing write

into my little fill-in-the blanks test.

-感动的心-

在流星划过天空的那一刻，

情爱从天空中的裂缝掉出，

跌进那碧蓝的大海洋之中，

那洋溢着恋爱的阵阵海潮，

拍打着在挣扎的固执岩石，

潮水包围着孤岛上的你我，

纵然我不能和你处在一起，

太阳会请雨水把真心带走，

洒在那等待渴望的你身上，

爱是我的唯一亦是你专利。

-我看不见的你-

恋似云霄飞车地冲着，
时间虽然苦短，
一颗心却不断狂跳着。

爱像旋转木马地转着，
我不断追逐前方的你，
原来一直也在我身后守着。

- DanDan -

My Dear rabbit, Dandan.

I bought it on valentine day.

Well, nothing do with that day.

cause someone assume me bought it at that day

sure means a lot.

I just like it,

for the first sight on it.

Cause it seem so special, as seldom have rabbit like that.

When i found that its one of its toes gone.

Normally, no one buy something broke.

but, i just like it.

until i able accept all about it.

My cute dandan.

- CNY Vs Homesick-

Chinese New Year just past.

This year, i didn't spend many days with family,

as i have to attend classes the next week.

I am 20 years old this year.

There were lots of things happened years ago.

which make me more appreciate them.

I think i consider have a happy family,

though somthing happened years ago.

It was not a good memory,

yet,

It made me releaze,

How deep i misunderstand my mum last time.

I should never blame her.

while she is also just a lady.

who also will feel helpless.

I was stupid last time,

can't see her wounds under a mask.

forgotten all her sacrifices for us.

Well,

thanks god.

She still with us.

The family didn't break.

She changed a lots, to a better mum.

Dad & Mum...Love u 2 much!!

-Sweeney Todd, Again n again-

Today i finally watched this movie.

I wondered why only one of my friend was really interested,

as it's a good movie.

Feel sad after watched the movie.

Cause the plot of the story is sad.

The movie mainly about hatred.

Yet, i see love in the movie.

Love with bad ending.

It doesn't mean that the ending of the movie is bad.

just,

everyone in the movie can't be together with lover.

It make me feel sad.

The sad ending remind me for all my sadness

in these days.

I finally understand what my friend said.

The most painful moment isn't

when we cry.

It's when tears can't come out from eyes.

Heartache seriously,

mentally wounded,

Yet, not a single tear can come out from my eyes.

I started to doubt.

whether there is give and take.

whether there is someone really care.

maybe, just maybe,

tears will come back to me

when there is someone really concern.

Always want to make other smile,

so i smile though i feel the pain.

Always scare give other troubles,

so i pretend i was strong in everything.

Smiley seem always my best friend,

to cover my wounded heart.

My dad always said that i was a walking tearsbag,

but i think i'm not now.

cause i can't even cry when i feel really sad.

my friend's dad pass away,

i was sad when i heard about it,

but tears seem transform to pain,

keep dancing in my heart.

Pain, pain, pain,

that's what replace tears of mine.

-Fade Away-

There is a full stop for it.

Ya, i should stop right now.

Since there seem no one will could ever understand.

I hope there will be a comma for it.

No, i should wake up right now.

From the "happily ever after" as there looks no stock for me.

You keep put question mark on it.

Then, i can't see what happened to it.

Cause you never leave a word for me.

They have excalmatory mark from it.

No sacrifice can be taken from you.

As you never plan to give.

How i hope there is a bracket for me.

So, i can hide you in the middle of it.

For no one can seize on it.

i know the star no belong to me,

as it high above the sky,

many kids could see it.

i become more afraid,

as i found what is it.

i tried to prove it ,

but you seem wont appreciate it

since you never want it,

i promise i'll never give it.

memories are what gonna

slowly fade away.

as you like it.

-Grey Day-

My Day was little grey today.

Sun still appeared, moon still showed up,

but my mood was little grey today.

I was confusing, lost in the middle of nowhere,

I always want my friends happy,

cause their unhappiness can make me down.

Well, but i know this is non of my business.

But, still can't control my stupid mind.

My Day was little grey today.

Rain didn't fall, storm didn't come,

yet my mood was little grey today.

I was tired, failed to fulfill my target,

cause my friends still not happy.

No matter how i tried,

there was an invisible wall block within us.

Yet, i never give up to cheer them up.

Don't know why i so brave,

dare to write this out,

while people might think i was a faker/pretender

as i sound like i'm concerning.

I'm not concerning. At least not to everyone,

just to them who i think are my sincere friends.

Haihz....

Tired of Guess,

Tired of Worry accidently offend other,

Tired of my "busy body" character,

Maybe i should say Goodbye to Myself,

For a cool and care-free reborn.

-Still I Believe-

I can see the leaves falling

People on the streets are smiling

The Days were so close to me

I can feel my tears falling

dropping on your face, and i whispered:

"Can you feel my kiss?"

We had a lot of happy days,

but faded away,

You are in the safety place,

Don't be afraid,

Oh God,

Tell me "It's just a joke" and "He will come back"

You have got everything you want

Please let him go.

And i still believe,

That's a way for us,

And i don't wanna leave,

Whenever you wake up, i'll be there.

and i still believe,

You will stay and you will live,

open your eyes,

Please wake up for me.

Still, i believe you can wake up for me.

-song of my netfriend, shara.-

(she created almost 20 something songs, everyone nice, this is first try on english song)

-My own Values?-

Tonight,

I chat with one of my friend,

from oversea,

Whom i saw once in wedding party,

But edi can chat like family.

He talked about a topic,

and i forget how it link to the next topic.

But,

he did teach me a very good lesson.

Don't know why,

He able to see the inner me,

whom live inside me,

for a long time,

yet i never meet.

He told me that i always hide myself,

the very weak one.

I looked strong,

but i was not.

I easy to trust,

and this make me easy to get hurt.

cause not everyone is who they are

as i thought.

Not everyone is that pure

as i thought.

His words remind me about what my parents

told me in last holidays.

It brought tears to me,

as how my parents did.

They tried to tell me the truth,

which i kept ignoring.

Ya,

they are right.

i should change,

for a better future.

Telling other about my feels

since the hardest words for me.

but not sorry.

yet, i could do that,

when i feel the sincere heart.

He told me to find my own values,

stopped changed and hide myself.

but, where is my own values?

Maybe there are inside me,

but no one show me those,

except my family.

Well,

maybe i can't find those that soon,

but,

i'll

As what i promise him.

p/s:

Hrm.....pls don't think i like that 'him', i din, k?

well,

he really just my good friend.

Hak, he sure won't blame me for saying these,

right?

aiya, i have to say this,

if not other mistake,

brob.

Wow, u r right!

i feel good for let those feelings out of my heart.

really good to let tell what i feel.

Gosh, i was thinking should i set my blog to be private.

but, i promise u edi.

SO, I"LL BE HONEST TO MYSELF

never hide,

but for sure not explose to everyone la.

At least i choose,

those really treat me well.

i promise!!

u see, i post these kind of things

on blog which i never did,

mean i improve edi,

right?

so....

can i get my be-lated christmas present?

mail to me la!!